Розетка государева значения

At school, Eduard Klyuyev was considered a boy with prospects. He was particularly good at seeing them himself. ‘Why do I need mathematics?’ he would ask his parents. ‘There’s a calculator.’ ‘Mathematics teaches you to think,’ his father replied. ‘There’s artificial intelligence for that.’ This generally brought family education to a close. His father went off to think for himself, while Eduard remained with technical support. He disliked history for its lack of new developments, and physics for paying excessive attention to things that were already working. ‘People invented the refrigerator,’ he would say, ‘and now I have to suffer at the blackboard because of it.’ Having received his school certificate, Eduard entered life equipped with everything he needed to know about where to find everything he needed to know. At thirty he was a purchasing agent at the Research Institute of Advanced Relocation. The institute dealt with time, but paid its salaries late in the usual way. Eduard supplied the laboratories with parts, equipment, and explanations of why the parts and equipment had not arrived. It was here that he learned the fundamental rule of trade: you do not have to understand an item if you know how to get its price approved. When the institute completed its first time machine, the director gave instructions: ‘Trials on Monday. Seal the apparatus for the weekend.’ Eduard was present when the seal was applied, and therefore knew exactly which end of the paper would be easiest to peel off. The idea had occurred to him long before. Throughout its history, humanity had suffered from a shortage of modern goods. Eduard intended to remedy the deficiency on a cash basis. He chose the reign of Peter the Great for his first venture. ‘Reforming monarch. Interested in technology. Makes purchasing decisions personally,’ he wrote under Customer Profile. He consulted artificial intelligence late into the night. The AI suggested taking high-quality steel tools. ‘Small-time,’ said Eduard. The AI suggested seeds of new agricultural crops. ‘Too slow.’ The AI suggested establishing which sources of power would be available at the destination. ‘Let’s leave out the technical details,’ Eduard typed. ‘We’re discussing business.’ By morning, business had been thoroughly discussed. Eduard spent all his savings on laptops, smartphones, a projector, an electric hotplate, and a kettle. His final purchase was an adapter for European sockets. He did not know which sockets Peter had, and made provision for an international standard. On Sunday, the time machine deposited him on the outskirts of St Petersburg, then under construction. His first impression was unfavourable: the market was entirely unprepared to receive an investor. Eduard stopped a passer-by. ‘Where can I get a taxi?’ The man looked at his suitcases and named a price. They reached the palace by cart. At first Eduard was taken for a foreigner, then for a spy. After he demonstrated his telephone, both explanations were judged inadequate and he was brought before the tsar. Peter received him standing. The customer was large, energetic, and did not quite fit into the consumer segment described by the AI. ‘What have you brought?’ ‘The means of modernisation, Your Majesty. I suggest we begin with a small demonstration package.’ ‘Unpack.’ Eduard opened a laptop. Music played. The word Welcome appeared on the screen. Peter nodded. ‘Polite.’ Eduard demonstrated the calculator, photographs, and word processor. The tsar typed his own name, twice striking three keys at once, and was pleased. ‘Good for decrees. Have you many?’ ‘We can supply a batch.’ The word we lent Eduard considerable substance. At present he could supply six, one of them a display model. ‘How does it give you the paper?’ ‘That requires a separate device.’ ‘Do you sell that too?’ Eduard silently thanked the tsar for understanding integrated procurement. The negotiations were going splendidly. For the first time in the history of Russian commerce, a customer was about to buy a printer without knowing the price of the cartridges. Then the laptop requested a power supply. Eduard took out the cable. ‘Where is your socket?’ The tsar turned to his courtiers. The courtiers looked at the nearest man who was not yet responsible for anything. He immediately went to fetch a craftsman. The craftsman arrived with his tools and a readiness to be punished. Eduard showed him the plug. The craftsman examined it carefully. ‘Never made one of those.’ ‘We need an ordinary electrical supply. Two hundred and twenty volts.’ The craftsman looked at Peter. His face suggested that he might manage two hundred and twenty, but would make no promises about volts. ‘Explain properly,’ the tsar ordered. So Eduard began to explain. It soon emerged that running the laptop would require a power station. The power station would require equipment that was not yet manufactured. Manufacturing the equipment would require other factories. With every clarification, the proposed purchase of six laptops became a greater burden on the treasury. ‘And what can it do without all that?’ Peter asked. The laptop went dark. Eduard pressed the button. Then he held it down for longer. ‘That’s all for the moment,’ he said. The tsar came round the table. ‘So you’ve brought me work.’ ‘I’ve brought progress, Your Majesty.’ ‘Work,’ Peter repeated. He knew about work. Eduard took out his phone. He urgently needed advice. There was no signal. He went to the window. Then he asked permission to go into the courtyard. A great deal was happening in the courtyard, but none of it improved reception. When he returned, the tsar was examining his other purchases. ‘What’s this?’ ‘An electric kettle.’ ‘Needs the station too?’ ‘Yes.’ Peter put it down with the caution of a man who has already been sold one surplus navy. ‘And this?’ ‘A hotplate.’ ‘A station for that as well?’ Eduard said nothing. ‘You live well,’ said the tsar. By evening the situation had improved somewhat. Eduard had sold his suitcases. They had wheels and worked without a preliminary reconstruction of the state. The extension lead was a particular success. The craftsman stripped off the insulation, saw the copper, and looked at the visitor with respect for the first time that day. The rest attracted offers at scrap value. Eduard refused. Business was business, but he would not allow advanced technology to be humiliated. He returned with unsold stock and three silver coins. One went to the institute’s watchman, who, for some reason, had also developed an interest in advanced relocation that Sunday. That evening, his father found Eduard at the table. School textbooks on history and physics lay before him. ‘Finally understood why you need to study?’ ‘I have,’ Eduard replied. ‘The market’s enormous. But you have to go in with infrastructure.’ His father sighed. Eduard opened a new conversation with the AI: ‘Draw up a plan for the electrification of the Russian Empire. Budget: two silver coins. Keep it short. No objections.’ Original Russian publication credits the work jointly with Ilya Igorevich Razumov. English translation prepared with AI assistance.